10 things I'd tell my 10-year-old self

I found this photo the other day while scrolling through the camera roll on my phone. At first I laughed, not only because of my unfortunate Dora-esque haircut and the bright purple sunglasses, but because the picture fully encapsulates how I remember my childhood: happy, silly, carefree. I couldn't have been more than 10 in this picture, which means that I'd yet to enter the pre-teen and adolescent years of my life - years that I don't look back on so fondly. Little did I know then that the next period of my life would be defined by personal insecurities and mental health struggles. I often wish that I could go back in time to give my younger self a big hug, to tell her that she doesn't need to be perfect and that the people who actually matter in life won't care about what she looks like or how much she weighs. So since our technology has yet to reach its time-travel capabilities, I'm going to do the next best thing: here is a list of 10 things I would tell my 10-year-old-self. If any of the items on this list resonate with you, I hope you, too, give yourself permission to let go of the unattainable standard you've set for yourself, to live a life of joy and happiness that doesn't revolve around meeting other peoples' expectations. Please believe me when I say that you deserve so much more.

10 Things I'd Tell my 10-Year-Old Self

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1) Asking for help makes you strong, not weak.

You have people in your life who love and support you, don't be afraid to lean on them when you need it. You don't have to go through it alone.

2) Comparing yourself to others never turns out well, focus on yourself.

I'm a big fan of quotes, the cheesier the better, and my favorite one-liner for this topic goes as follows: "There's only one "you" out there. Why would you try to be someone else when you could just be yourself?"

3) Close friends are the best type of relationship.

You'll make a lot of friendships in life, some will last and some will fade away with time (and that's okay!). But your best friends, the ones that genuinely care about your happiness and well-being, that stick with you through the good, the bad, and everything in between, will be the most important relationships you make in life (besides the one with yourself).

4) Dieting sucks. Don't waste your time being hungry.

Seriously, just don't.

5) Don't be afraid of failing.

Someone once told me that to FAIL is your First Attempt In Learning. I appreciate this sentiment a lot more now than I did then. You'll get bad grades on exams and face rejections from positions you wanted, but these experiences will only make you stronger in the long run. And you'll learn that it's okay to not always get the "A" in a class, because sometimes you're most proud of that hard-earned B :) (hello AP Chemistry)

6) Rest and recovery are important, it's okay to not always be "productive."

Taking time for yourself doesn't make you "lazy" or "bad"; it's actually probably the best thing you can do for your mental health. That homework assignment or internship application will still be there on Sunday, take your Friday night to cozy up on the couch and watch your favorite show, or go out with your friend to a fun dinner. Those are the memories you'll remember 10 years from now, not the night spent studying at the library.

7) Be unapologetic about what makes you happy.

You shouldn't be embarrassed about embracing things that bring you joy on life. You can love watching sports, having a fun night out, and trying new foods, but that doesn't mean you can't also love reading a good book, enjoying a quiet Friday night in, and running a health & wellness social media account. You don't have to fit one "box," just find what makes you happy.

8) Tough times, as long as they may seem, are only temporary; you'll always make it to the other side.

Unfortunately, there isn't just one example I can point to where you'll have to remember this point, which is why it's so important to know. Whether it's recovering from an eating disorder, moving midway through your freshman year of high school, or dealing with a frustrating long-term injury, life isn't always going to be easy. But tough times don't last forever, and maybe refer back to item #1 for a reminder that you don't have to go through it alone. Just remember that the bad days are what make the good ones even better.

9) Don't take life too seriously and laugh often.

Hard work and dedication are key factors for success, but don't become so focused on achieving your goals that you miss out on the opportunity to live in the moment. (I discuss this issue more in-depth in my post here.) Stop fearing spontaneity - Go out with your friends on a Friday night, take a weekend trip to visit your best friend from high school. Life is so much better when you're living one of balance. Oh, and when in doubt, laughter really is the best medicine :)

10) You can always choose kindness.

Out of all of these tips I've listed, this one may be the most important. If you haven't discerned already, life is rarely linear, and just as you will experience moments of joy, pride, and euphoria, there will also be times of sadness, anger, and heartache. How you choose to respond to these situations, however, is always in your control. No matter the situation, I implore you to focus on the positives in life, to find gratitude in the silver linings and hope in the face of hardships. Most of all, I want you to exude kindness and empathy to those around you. The manner in which we treat others is a tangible choice made everyday through our actions and mindset: choose kindness.